ballet

So I recently started dancing again. Fortunately, living in a major city I am not limited to studios with dancer ages ranging half, to less than half of my own.

It feels good. I can tell I've let myself get very weak.

Even if you think you're too busy to take care of yourself - I believe if you really want it, you will figure it out.

work

Don't worry, keep working. You'll catch your 8th wind.

That's exactly how work works. I'm glad I have coworkers that are still with me at 11PM who can make me smile.

Yes, I'm still at my cubical. 

Funny thing is, I have a phone interview tomorrow. At 6:30AM with an east coast recruiter.

Work, 'tis a silly place. It's like going from bad boyfriend to bad boyfriend over and over again.

innocent

I am what I would call exceptional friends with the writer from New York. He's hilarious, we have fun, and I can't fathom not having him around. Our relationship scales from best buddies, to an extent of 'kissing friends'. It's not that I don't like him enough to pursue a relationship, I think that in the long run, we're likely no suited for each other. He's not that great of a kisser either. We make out occasionally anyways.

We go out and have lots of fun. Even with the larger group of friends, but more often than not he and I end up in his tiny rented room - we come back to pass the time there, because he's allergic to my furry friends. I have a much larger single studio apartment. 

A twin size bed. How does he live?!

oops, i did it again

I may or may not be drunk. This means I'm drunk.

I met a guy through a social group. He seems nice, genuine, likely into the same types of things i'm into. the only twist, is that he's polyamorous. For those who may not know any better about what polyamory is, well, it's basically being able to have multiple partners who you are intimate with not only at a physical level but an emotional level. I've been exploring relationships since my last long term melt down, with an equal opportunity mentality. Who's to say that only one man and one woman constitute a healthy relationship?

Excuse me, while I eat my drunk pizza.

.. 10 minutes later.

Why is Judy Judy on at 2AM? Is the population of people that watch crap TV in the middle of the night, the same as the population of people that watch day time TV? When do they sleep?

Anyways, he's funny, a little quirky. I have no idea how he has 2 other girlfriends. But I know he's looking for a "main" girlfriend. The funniest thing, is that I know him through a social group, but stumbled upon him on OkCupid - where he openly admits his polyamorous needs. I know him twice, but not in the biblical sense.

So, that sorta brings us to today. I was invited to a party at a bar with a good 20 of his friends. As usual, I'm a riot. What can I say, I'm likeable.

But, really? Afterseeing him with one of his other girlfriends - I'm likely convinced that I'm too jealous to handle that type of relationship.

On the funnier side, the one person I would have been more interested that I met tonight - I found out, is gay.

I have the best fucking intuition. From now on, if I like them, they're likely gay.

FML!

prada

Yesterday, my ridiculously beautiful crushand I went out for drinks. The night ended at my house, and nothing happened. We woke up the next morning, went about half the day like two people that would cohabitate on the regular, and had a late brunch. He even did my dishes.

It's weird, how he really likes spending a ridiculous amount of time with me. I mean, I'm super fun, ridiculously adorable, and we see eye to eye on more than I can fathom. Problem is, I'm not a wafer thin, blonde model type. Judging by the drastic percentage more of shoes and banana republic clothes he owns than I do, he's either gay - or way into high maintenance ladies. I guess it will never happen. Maybe at some point we'll make out at least once.

He's so dreamy.

P.S. On the walk home, we walked past Union Square and he told me I'd look amazing in Prada heels.

karma

You  ever have that one person you have your eye on? The one you have a great time with, you think they're super adorable. It seems to be a mutual attraction and you're hot for them? Only to come to the conclusion, that they just want to be friends. Lame.

Tougher, because I've been on both sides of that fence.

Flipside, you just think they're an amazing friend, that you wish you had a genuine attraction for, but in reality, you know it's just something you wouldn't be all in for. And if you're not all in, you don't instantly know you want it, it's not worth pursuing. However, the attention and mutual level of understanding are a nice feeling.

I want to make out with this guy at my office, but I know he doesn't see me like that. Yet, I cut off ties with a good guy friend after realizing I couldn't really ever be with him. Not really.

I'll have to settle currently for a bed buddy and a gay best friend.

scotch

Life typically has specific sectors. Something along the lines of work, family, love, and insert alternative scholastic or fun activity here. I have really tried so hard to come to terms with the fact that they're never all going great. Either or another is always lacking.

I think today, as I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother; I decided I am - in fact, a real-life Robin Charles Scherbatsky, Jr.